Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize