he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
