what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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