Fuck appropriateness.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize