doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
