OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
