Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
