these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
