therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
