Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
