And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
