then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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