I skipped work to stalk him.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
