but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I could fuck to npr.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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