you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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