Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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