Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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