I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
