I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
