I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
only you would photoshop your dick
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
