So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
