It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
