when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
