for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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