You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
