we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
