I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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