PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
