Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize