I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
