Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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