This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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