So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
