I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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