honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
