the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
