Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
