No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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