I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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