Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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