Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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