Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
