Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize