i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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