I need help removing her.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
