The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
