wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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