i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
