he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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