He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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