I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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