And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
