It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
