a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
