Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just puked most of my soul out..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
