I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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