Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
