Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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