You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Come on in and take your pants off
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