I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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