I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
